Stop yelling at me. It’s been a year since the last real entry, yeah, I get it. You’re Furious. It makes you want to go out into the Jungle and… you know what? Go find a nice field of… Lilies and just… just Chill, man.
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Welcome, friends, followers, esteemed colleagues, and possibly some people I graduated high school with, to the first — and possibly only, depending on how many people think this nonsense has any value — Gordo Presents Children of Zordon’s “Thirty Year Old Man’s Favorite Toys Awards!” Or, as I like to call them, the Tyomftas. It’s a work in progress.
Listen. I’m not an expert toy reviewer or anything. I have reviewed toys in the past, but it has been mostly for shits and giggles.
Which is why this will ALSO be for shits and giggles!
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Hey everyone. Things are weird right now, huh? I got myself sick. I haven’t left my house in about a week. I’m getting better, though. My nose is just stuffy.
Anyway, here’s Tanya.
Those early 2000s seasons after the Disney buyout were somethin’ else, man. I believe I made it clear in my entry for Dustin that Ninja Storm was very much a product of its time. To some degree, that same attitude was reflected in Dino Thunder. You see, kids, in 2003, there was this popular Canadian rock singer named Avril Lavigne and with her came a slew of school-age girls trying to dress like her by wearing ties over their shirts and skirts over their jeans. These days she’s more well-known for marrying the dude from Nickelback and creating this… erm… love letter to Japan.
Anyways, Kira Ford was a reflection of the Avril phenomenon. Guitar and everything.
The turn of the 21st century was a weird time. The world was far from the utopian wonderland that optimistic science fiction media had predicted decades before. Instead, the early 2000s saw the rise of the “dude-bro.” The once underground culture of the “skateboarder” had suddenly poked its head into the mainstream. It was finally cool to be a doofus who rode around on a dangerous plank of wood or a dirt bike for fun.
Extreme sports. Dude talk. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater. X-Treme X-Men. Xtreme Jell-O Sticks. Aside from Rocket Power, nothing seems to embody this bizarre turn-of-the-century more than Waldo – I mean, Dustin – Brooks. Continue reading
Children of Zordon 