Hey everyone. Things are weird right now, huh? I got myself sick. I haven’t left my house in about a week. I’m getting better, though. My nose is just stuffy.

Anyway, here’s Tanya.

NAME: Tanya Sloan
RANGER DESIGNATION: Zeo Ranger II Yellow, Power Rangers Zeo; Yellow Turbo Ranger (I), Power Rangers Turbo
BASE OF OPERATION: Angel Grove
FIRST APPEARANCE: “Hogday Afternoon Part I” – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
LAST APPEARANCE: “Passing the Torch Part II” – Power Rangers Turbo
PERSONAL WEAPONS/GEAR: Yellow Zeo Sub-Crystal; Zeo II Power Double Clubs; Zeo Jet Cycle II; Turbo Star Charger
ZORDS: Zeo Zord II; Super Zeo Zord II; Dune Star Turbozord
PORTRAYED BY: Nakia Burrise

PROFILE 

Each of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers went on a separate journey to find a piece of the powerful Zeo Crystal to reverse the effects of Master Vile’s de-aging spell. The Yellow Ranger Aisha was transported to an African desert and met a young girl named Tanya who lived in a nearby village. Tanya was from America, but her parents were explorers who disappeared on an expedition. A local village adopted her as one of their own. Tanya spent a lot of time keeping an eye on the wildlife around her home, probably because she didn’t have a Sega Genesis to play.

With the assistance of the village leader Ashalla, Aisha was able to obtain her Zeo Sub-Crystal. Conveniently, Ashalla happened to be Aisha’s “Great Aunt.” Noting this gigantic convenience, Aisha decided to stay in the village to take care of the local wildlife, sending Tanya back to the Command Center in her place. And then the Command Center exploded so overall it was a rough day.

The Rangers plus Tanya found the way to the Power Chamber, a secret backup base that Zordon had created for just such an occasion. With their Ninja Zords and colorful spandex suits presumably lost forever, the Zeo Crystal granted them a new, even stronger power source. Being that there were six people and only five Sub-Crystals, Billy decided to step down and promote Tanya Sloan to the new Power Rangers team, becoming Zeo Ranger II Yellow.

It wasn’t long before Tanya was pullin’ in the hotties like Shawn, the captain of the baseball team. She helped to tutor the star athlete after school so that he could keep playing sports. Did Tanya have a formal education? Who knows. Shawn didn’t, since he managed to get a copy of the answers for one of his exams, the dirty scoundrel. Tanya, being a woman of integrity and take-no-shit-itude, dumped his ass when he insisted on cheating on his test. But then he apologized and everything went back to normal. Talk about forgive and forget.

Tensions rose once more when the team coach realized Tanya had a knack for tossing a baseball and gave her a spot on the team. Shawn was a petty bitch and felt like he was no longer the star player. After a close call during a game against Stone Canyon, Shawn tried to downplay her skill. Tanya took no shit yet again and told him to buzz off if he didn’t support her.

 

After creating a very professional music video for a song that I’m assuming she wrote, Tanya was volunteered by Tommy without her consent to perform during a Saturday night party at Ernie’s. Her performance was so impressive that she was approached by a big creepy record producer man that wants to make her next video. Suddenly her life is torn in two — she could continue being a Ranger and attend high school, or she could drop out and pursue a full-time singing career. After the other Rangers went into battle without her, she realized that fighting monsters in her giant Easter Island robot with her friends was much more important than fame and fortune.

Aisha sent Tanya a little care package from Africa containing some very important knick-knacks — a map of her parent’s last expedition to recover the Lost Tiki of Auric and a big ass key to “unlock” the relic. Zordon decided to bend his oddly strict rules and allowed her to teleport to Mysterio Island and search for her parents.

Sadly, the Machine Empire’s Louie Kaboom (yeah that’s his real name wanna fight about it) intercepted the Sloans and stole Auric, as well as the key from Jason who did a bad job of protecting it. Prince Sprocket unlocked the tiki and it transformed into a giant robot man named Auric the Conqueror, who he coaxed into hunting the “evil” Power Rangers. Tanya’s trip to the island was cut short in order to deal with the misled Auric and bring him to their side. Afterward, she went back to rescue her parents before they got squished by a booby-trap.

When the evil space pirate Divatox summoned a big lava monster named Maligore to make her husband, Zordon pulled even more powers out of his ass. Thus, Tanya was given the Dune Star Turbo Power, allowing her to become the Yellow Turbo Ranger. After graduating high school, she decided that she wanted to pursue a singing career and passed her powers to Angel Grove High cheerleader Ashley Hammond.

 

RANKING

I see Tanya as the first full underdog Ranger — she was the only newcomer to her team when it first formed and she wasn’t a particularly skilled athlete in any field like her comrades (at least at first). However, she came into her own as a true Teenager with Attitude. Basically, Tanya’s dope as hell. She’s a nice lady who knows when she’s being taken advantage of. Rangers in the Outfield is probably the best encapsulation of her value to the team. Seeing a clear character flaw in one of these goody-two-shoes Zordon-era Rangers was rare, and watching her be able to let go of Shawn despite caring for him made for a great episode. Oh also that one where her and Tommy are under a spell where they sing everything. Watch that.

Man, it has been a while since I pondered this list. I dunno if you can tell by looking at it, but I have a soft spot for underdogs. Most would probably agree that being a Power Ranger takes more than being a good puncher or kicker. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, silly. Gotta recognize Tanya for what she added to the show, but I would still put Cassie above her. I think this will make Tanya the new number 8 on the Children of Zordon.

Wow. It took a global pandemic for me to get back on this shit. I think I’m gonna be a bit more productive for the time being, so look forward to more entries sooner rather than later. Also a reminder to follow the most important account on Twitter, @childrnofzordon. You should pretty much just unfollow every other person and just follow that one. Oh, and maybe @nocontextranger as well.

Seeya next time when we overanalyze the man that never lets go of his weapons, Troy Burrows. Pray for me.