Being a Power Ranger means dedication. Nobody embodies that more than Tommy Oliver.
Continue readingCoZ Entry #000 – Tommy Oliver
mighty morphin power rangers
Once & Always, CoZ’s future, and Other Thoughts
My expectations for Power Rangers reunions are low. Call it cynicism, old age, or 30 years of mostly subpar specials and team-ups. You don’t need RadBug 2 to jump over this low Juice Bar. That’s right, two cutesy references out of the way in one sentence of the first paragraph. How’s that for a pull-quote?? You already know this is gonna be a banger of a read.
Luckily, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Once & Always has more going for it than the majority of those aforementioned event episodes. And there’s a lot more to talk about than I’ll ever care to get to here. Now it’s time to over-analyze the shit out of this thing. So let’s go.
Continue readingCoZ Entry #029 – Zack Taylor
I’ve seen most of MMPR so many goddamn times you would think I could just make an accurate assessment about the original 5 without re-watching every episode they’re featured in. But you’d be wrong. You’re lucky that I’m a man of integrity and honor that would never take such a blatant shortcut without doing the proper research.
We here at Children of Zordon believe in doing your homework. We also believe in taking your time with said homework. It’s not because I’m lazy, or that watching too much Power Rangers in one sitting will rot your brain faster than a Q-Anon convention. It’s because I take pride in truly sitting and absorbing each episode and giving them the individual attention that they deserve, taking great care in analyzing each detail to extract every little bit of juice from this color-coded fruit. After every episode, I assume a meditative state for at least 3 hours, contemplating the greater truths and consequences of what I just witnessed.
Especially the one where Zack’s afraid of bugs. Let’s check it out.
Continue readingThirty Year Old Man’s Favorite Toys Awards – Lightning Collection Edition
Welcome, friends, followers, esteemed colleagues, and possibly some people I graduated high school with, to the first — and possibly only, depending on how many people think this nonsense has any value — Gordo Presents Children of Zordon’s “Thirty Year Old Man’s Favorite Toys Awards!” Or, as I like to call them, the Tyomftas. It’s a work in progress.
Listen. I’m not an expert toy reviewer or anything. I have reviewed toys in the past, but it has been mostly for shits and giggles.
Which is why this will ALSO be for shits and giggles!
Continue readingCoZ Entry #015 – Billy Cranston
The hero of most superhero stories is typically something of the idealized Tough Guy. They’re strong, confident, willing to take on any challenge that the day may bring them. Imagine if Superman had the opposite of those traits and it’s hard to picture them being the same character.
That character is probably closer to Clark Kent, pushing up his glasses, slouching and stuttering his way through everyday life. Poor disguise be damned, if I were an average Metropolis citizen and you asked me who I thought Superman really was, it sure wouldn’t be the meek reporter for the Daily Planet.
As Bulk and Skull would be the first to tell you, there’s no way in hell that geekazoid Billy Cranston is Angel Grove’s Superman. I wouldn’t believe it either. And that’s what’s so great about him.
CoZ Entry #001 – Kimberly Hart
The stereotypical “valley girl” is a pretty dumb one, right? All they talk about is shopping and boys and nails. They’re airheads who pepper the word “like” into their speech as if it’s a punctuation mark. They only associate with other valley girls and surround themselves with jocks who will kiss their toes for a chance to take them to the Sock Hop or whatever.
And then there’s Kimberly Hart, a character that – while initially feeding into these preconceived notions of a pretty, upper-middle class teenage Californian – became more than the sum of her parts.
Children of Zordon 